^hate you^ (30dec08).. this is why i hate being alone.. can’t keep myself from writing.. *wink*

hate you

hate you when you’re late
makes me wonder where you are
hate you when you’re quiet
makes me shut my mouth for a while

hate you when you won’t talk
hate you more when you won’t laugh
hate you when you’re near
and yet you seem so far

hate you when you’re not around
and sometimes even when you are
hate you when you care too much
hate you for just being there..

hate it when i say i hate you
and when you guess right that what i hate is you
but i hate myself for hating you
and the fact that i cant tell why i do.

–jokeL
-30dec08-

in between friends.. *save it or keep it*

..in between friends..

ha! friends.. buddies.. the ones who can always put your ‘out-of-tune’ self in-tune..! the ones who know just how to help you have fun after a long and hard day’s work, the ones who put rainbows on your stormy days.. The group that can always see the funny side of a very serious matter..  The team you call ‘barkada’..

They say that your friends represent the unBorn world of your personality.. THEY are YOU in some ways.. Each and every one of your friends represents a part that is actually YOU.. With a business-minded friend, you could discover that someone inside you who can actually think of things where money really matters. With a bubbly friend, you can discover that you can actually deliver a joke. The things you thought were not in your personality will suddenly come out of you when you’re with them.. haha! I never thought i could think of something ‘eeewww’ until every time im with them..

those are just a few things friends can make out of you..

but what if, unconsciously and as time passes, the friend who teaches you how to put a smile when all you want to do is pout, is the same friend who’s yet going to teach you how to love.. *whoa!*

RULE # 1 (and i guess is the ONLY rule among this team called FRIENDS): “Do Not Love ME more than you could love anyone in the group” (hindi tayo talo, walang ganunan)

yesterday, thursday.. i was in my cube (in the ofc) when i had a meaningful chat with one of my closest buddies at work.. Suddenly we came to talk about this.. him being not really “in-to” loving a friend in the ‘next-level’ thing.. I told him that same here, it has always been my stand not to fall for someone you have grown sharing naughty minds for quite some time now..

Loving a friend in the ‘next-level’ would not be very encouraging (haha.. im lacking for words!).. for the simplest reason that loving a very close friend would mean risking the friendship you have built together for years through endearing hugs, good laughs, funny stories about each other, sharings of success, facing each other’s shortcomings together, and a lot of things you have shared that has real value than an overtime pay..

…but you cant really do something when someone in your group confesses that he/she is beginning to feel something for the other one.. worse, is that if the one feeling for someone in the group is YOU.. *patay tayo jan*..

It has always been a “no-one’s fault” when it comes to loving.. You just have to know what’s the right thing to do on what you feel.. It’s not just about what it is you’re feeling, it’s your Friendship that is at risk..

End realization..?

Just be careful.. Not all those who love their friends more than just a friend finds a bow and arrow, some or maybe mostly these people only find a double-edged sword that not only stabbed their feelings but killing the friendship as well..

SAVE IT? or KEEP IT?

keep your feelings (you can also let them know if you want but dont expect)..  and decide to save the friendship! .. So you can also save yourself..

save it? or keep it?.. it’s always UPto you..

~keep loving!